Well, we are almost there..almost in 2009. What a difference a year makes...
...i am entering a year the mother of two for the first time
...i am entering a year the owner of a mini van for the first time
...i am entering a year after having my tenth college reunion
...i am entering a year where my husband and I will celebrating 10 years of marriage
...i am entering a year a daughter with no mother
BUT, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING THAT NEVER CHANGES....
....i am entering a year the daughter of a king, a child of the most high, and I know that no matter what happens this year, God will be next to me, holding my hand and watching me every step of the way.
I moved my dad out and he will be staying with us for a while until he gets into his new place. Never again will I call their number, a number I called every day (3-4 times) for four years. Never again will I go to their place where Andrew danced with her and painted rocks, ate cookies and watched TV. I miss her so much, and leaving the place with all those memories is almost like mourning all over again. So today, I visited the pit a little. My best friend asked me last night if I was surviving and if I was okay. Yes and yes/no. I get up, I feed and take care of my kids, I laugh at something at TV, I kiss my husband, I pray to my God, and am thankful for ALL my blessings, but inside I am sad b/c my best friend is gone. But just like scripture says, joy does come in the morning and right now, I am going to cling to God and trust like no other time, and will wait expectantly to see the glorious plan He has for my life, my dad's, my husband's, my son's and my daughter's.
Happy New Year loved ones, can't wait for new year of memories and love!
6 comments:
Thinking and praying for you...Happy New Year!
oh, big lump.
I can't imagine what you are going through. I can't imagine living through losing your mom and moving your sweet father out of the house. I am so sorry! I can imagine that today is hard but also good..wanting to move forward, but also not wanting to forget and move on. Ugh. I know you must worry about forgetting little things about her. My heart hurts even saying that, but I know it has to be true.
Thanks for this sweet post. I am so proud of you for surviving this and for allowing it to bring you closer to Christ and glorify Him at the same time!
I think you wrapped it all pretty well with your last sentence "cling to God and trust like no other time".
Don't visit the pit...it's a bad place to be. Expect a miracle everyday. Won't it be glorious when the pit is defeated forever!!
I love you!
Friend -- You're on my mind all the time. I'm still so sorry for your loss. Believe it or not, but the burden of grief does grow lighter with time. Give yourself all the time you need, and allow God to do what He will in you during this season.
Surviving is BIG! Something to be proud of, take if from someone who knows. I promise the memories will get sweeter. And God is there to lift your burdens. He will comfort you and your dad. He will guide you through the process, while you are sitting in the palm of His hand. Joy does come in the morning. And one thing we can ALWAYS cling to is that God cannot break His promises and He had promised us that EVERYTHING He does is for our good. Yeah...I know...sometimes easier to say than find comfort in, but today I happen to believe it! It amazes me how God puts people in our paths. Praying for you!
OH! I forgot to mention the pit. I was going toward the pit for a couple of weeks before Christmas. I could feel it coming on and I just didn't want to go there. I read "The Prayer That Changes Everything" by Stormie Omartian daily. (It's the pocket prayer one, not the big book) and I happened to open it to "When I Am Troubled by Negative Thoughts and Emotions" and the part that allowed me to rise up out of the pit was this..."Thank You that I don't have to live with sadness, hurt, or depression. Thank You that You have put gladness in my heart. This day I put on the garment of praise in exchange for the spirit of heaviness, and I glorify You as Lord of all."
I highly recommend you get this book...it has been an immense comfort to me.
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