Happy New Year

Well, we are almost there..almost in 2009. What a difference a year makes...

...i am entering a year the mother of two for the first time
...i am entering a year the owner of a mini van for the first time
...i am entering a year after having my tenth college reunion
...i am entering a year where my husband and I will celebrating 10 years of marriage
...i am entering a year a daughter with no mother

BUT, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING THAT NEVER CHANGES....

....i am entering a year the daughter of a king, a child of the most high, and I know that no matter what happens this year, God will be next to me, holding my hand and watching me every step of the way.

I moved my dad out and he will be staying with us for a while until he gets into his new place. Never again will I call their number, a number I called every day (3-4 times) for four years. Never again will I go to their place where Andrew danced with her and painted rocks, ate cookies and watched TV. I miss her so much, and leaving the place with all those memories is almost like mourning all over again. So today, I visited the pit a little. My best friend asked me last night if I was surviving and if I was okay. Yes and yes/no. I get up, I feed and take care of my kids, I laugh at something at TV, I kiss my husband, I pray to my God, and am thankful for ALL my blessings, but inside I am sad b/c my best friend is gone. But just like scripture says, joy does come in the morning and right now, I am going to cling to God and trust like no other time, and will wait expectantly to see the glorious plan He has for my life, my dad's, my husband's, my son's and my daughter's.

Happy New Year loved ones, can't wait for new year of memories and love!

Merry Christmas to one and to all....

...an a blessing to each and every one of you! I love you all and hope and pray that this season reminds us that a little baby was born over 2000 years ago for us. He was God's Son, His precious Son and He sent Him to earth.

Our Lord and Savior had been there from the beginning, but chose to leave and humble Himself to human form to save us:

John 1: 1-3:

1In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2He was with God in the beginning.
3Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.

Yet, He came down from Heaven so that we could be saved and become children of God.

John 1:12

12Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—

His ENTIRE purpose of being born, of living and especially of dying is because God loved us so much that He did not want us to be seperated from Him any more, He wanted a relationship with us, He wanted us to live knowing that we were never alone, that He is always with us, looking down on us and guiding us in His perfect will. This was His plan 2000 years ago and this is His plan 2000 years later. Remember friends, this was an event that happened a long time ago in a far away place, but it is something that can be remembered and held close to our heart every single day.

I write all of this to encourage you, to live 2009 for Him. I have been running from Him for the past 2 years because I was afraid of what would happen, and the worst happened, and guess what..HE WAS THERE FOR ME. I even told Him at one point I will not serve you anymore if you take my mom, but when it came down to it, that thought TERRIFIED me. Living my life without my God? Not possible. So if you are down, scared and alone this Christmas, He is there. He is there to hold your hand, to cry with you and to love you no matter what, I am living testimony to that.

Deuteronomy 31:8

8 "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

I hope that I am not coming off preachy, that is not my intention at all, it is to be encouraging, to point you to the Savior, our only source of love, hope and future.

Merry Christmas loved ones, I truly love you all and am so blessed to have you in my life. Thank you for your love and encouragement this past month. I know that when I am down again I will need it, and I know that you will be there. I pray blessings upon you and your families this wonderful holiday season! I am ending with some pictures of my kids we took for our Christmas card...guess who didn't smile, and she ALWAYS smiles. Oh well, Murphy's Law..right!!!

Over here kids! :)

One smiling..one ready to stop



Really ready to stop!



Merry Christmas from the Stephens!

Andrew is the big FOUR-0

What, did I say four-o I meant to say he acts like the big 4-0, but only is four. We had a wonderful time at Chuck E Cheese (pics later). We also spent the day at our friend Grant's house, the day of his actual birthday.

I cannot believe that four years ago, Dec. 17, my first child came into our lives. He is the light of our lives. He is "our full of life, the minute his feet hit the floor I am going until I go reluntly go to bed at night little angel from God". We tried for nine months to get pregnant, and while EVERYONE around me was getting pregnant, I was shouting out to God, where is my baby. I have wanted to be a mom since I could breathe, where is my baby. Well I realize now that if God had given us our son any time sooner, we wouldn't have Andrew. And where we would we be then? Not laughing at his knock-knock jokes, playing toss, basketball, soccer, baseball or any other sport, we wouldn't be constantly amused at all he has to say and amazed that he is so insightful at such a young age. He loves Jesus and reading His Bible, and loves asking questions about God....or asking questions about ANYTHING! He is into his letters right now and writing his name. How I love my little boy, my gift from God. For those who didn't know, I couldn't hold him for the first six hours, he didn't cry when he was born. They ran tests and tests, but couldn't figure it out. Finally he did, and I got to hold him and love on him for the first time. I remember unswaddling him and looking at all his fingers and toes and watch him move all around, what an angel!

This year I am focusing on being the mommy God wants me to be, not what I think I should be or what I think others want me to be, but what God wants me to be. I want to discipline my children like he disciplines me, out of love. I am praying that I am a productive mommy and spend as much time with them as possible, for next year Andrew will go off to K4 and I will lose our lazy mornings, and lives will never be the same again!

So, Happy Birthday angel, mommy and daddy love you and couldn't be more proud to call you our son!!

Coincidence?? I don't think so?

This is a neat story, something I really needed right now. :)

Yesterday we were out and I looked down at my key chain and wanted to take the plastic key chain we got from Joe Marino off, but for some "reason" took off my clicker that unlock and locks the door. Well I couldn't get it back on, so I had it separate from my other keys and put it in a pocket in my purse. Well tonight I went to Walmart to finish Andrew's Christmas and got to my car in the FREEZING cold and couldn't find my keys. But....I had my clicker so I could get everything in our car (including Andrew's new bike ) and sit in the car and look for my keys in the warmth of the car. I couldn't find them (David came and gave the other set--what a guy!) but I did go to Customer Service and they were there. But thanks to the "coincidence" I was able to sit inside my car and not have to push my cart back, sit in Walmart, be cold, be out in the dark with my hands freezing, or anything else.

God is good and meets our every need.

He knew that I was going to have to have the clicker separate, He knew it was going to be cold and dark, so he separated the keys to meet my needs days ahead. Just like with everything with my mom.

If you had told me I would have to live without my mom, I would have FREAKED, but God prepared me. Two weeks before she passed all I said was, "God don't make me bitter" and I knew that this was God's will and I was going to have to trust Him. He gave me a peace, and the Holy Spirit gave me the ability not to be angry with God. There is a lot more to this story, and I am trying to sort it all out and someday soon I am going to share it with everyone. I want people to learn from my story that we can trust God, b/c for the past two years I fought it harder than anyone else in the world. I hope you are all enjoying this Christmas season, it is a special time of year, I want to soak it all up!

Prayer needs:
1. Tomorrow (the 15th) marks a month that my mom passed. Pray for peace, and pray that the sadness that is to come, comes and goes quickly. I sometimes want to call her and hear her voice more than anything.
2. The weather cooperates and does not mess with Andrew's birthday!
3. Peace for David and I this week, we have a lot facing us as a couple...some I cannot talk about right now.

Thanks for the prayers, I love you all so much and pray blessings upon you and your family!

Out of the mouths of babes

I went to pick up Andrew yesterday and his teacher, who happens to be a really good friend of mine, says I have to tell you what Andrew said. As a mother of a four year old, this can be a good statement, or a bad statement. This was a good one. She said that at lunch time it was Andrew's turn to pray and instead of doing the usual prayer of "Thank you God for good food, thank you God", Andrew says this:

Dear God, I hope that when you fall down you don't get hurt.

Thank you for Jesus, Amen

Boy, what a way to make this momma proud! I love Andrew's sensitive heart, when Kaitlyn is sad or crying, he comes over and says, it's okay brother is here. What a guy!

On another note, I am doing okay. I have my bad days, my good days...my bad hours, my good hours. At church the other day we sang a song we had played at mom's service and I just broke down. It had really caught up with me that day that she wasn't coming back, that this is my new reality, that she is in heaven and I am here on Earth. The next day I was feeling sad and vulnerable and she was the one I could call with advice and she would tell me exactly what I needed to hear, but she wasn't there that day. So I cried, and one of my friends called and I talked with her and cried to her, and was better. I know that each one of you are praying for me, and please know if I haven't called yet, I will be calling just to chat, tell a funny story about my mom, or just to cry. It's like someone said at MOPS (hi Scarlett!), my faith is founded on God and I have peace with His will, and I am greatful that He is meeting me at my every need, but I still miss her. My relationship with God is better than it has been in ages, because I am trusting Him and leaning on Him when I am down, and I know that He loves me at all times and is holding my hand all of the way. I love you all, and hopefully will have Thanksgiving pics up before the New Year!