Well this blog written my
MckMama could not have come at a more timely in life. So I had to post it. I have not posted in a while because things have been crazy. There has been illness, tiredness, busyness, crankiness, etc. I have been literally OVERWHELMED!!! But through it all, God has been faithful and even though I feel like I let Him down, He is holding on to my hand so hard so I can't let go...even if I wanted to :)...so I because I wish I could write as well as her, here is how I feel.
On days when the squabbling, bickering, yelling and whining threaten to overwhelm me; on days when the Cheerio crumbs between my toes and the fingerprints on the windows make my head spin; on days when the incessant questions, diaper changes and maddening repetitiveness of toddler activities send me almost bonkers; on days when I haven't the energy to change out of my pajamas or clip my fingernails, much less anyone else's; on days when I want to bang my head against the wall, or better yet to run away; on days when I wonder what in tarnation we were thinking when we had (two + one on the way) children so close in age; on days when no one will leave me alone; on days like that, it is the sweet small moment in time that flutters in, the genuine little glimpse of goodness that arrives, if only fleetingly, which, like a flash in the pan, makes a bright but brief appearance and serves to gently remind me before it's gone that...
...there is a reason why I do what I do! :)
Because at the end of the day I am raising children for the Father, and they are the joy of my life and everyday do something else that makes me love them more and more. And this little one on the way...even though we still don't know where he/she is going to go, how we are going to afford him/her...this little one is going to add joy to our lives.
Thank you again for allowing me to be real, I am realizing that it is okay to be real..that no one is perfect and we are all in this together..that no one is going to think I am a horrible mom and never speak to me again (yes these are thoughts that go through my head :) ).
If you could also pray...the year markers are coming up. It has been a year since my mom was diagnosed and everything began to go downhill. My dad has a job, but is still living with us, please pray fors that transition and continue to pray for a healthy pregnancy...take care and blessings to you all!
