We are reaching two years since my precious mom went to be with Jesus forever and what a difference two years make!!!! I never thought I would last two months, much less two years...but I have. Have I done it alone? Never! My Saviour has been there the entire time holding my hand and loving on me and meeting me even when I didn't know I needed someone. Here's the thing, I have been at an arm-length relationship with Jesus. Why? Because I have been in survival mode. I have served Him, loved Him, worshipped Him, but any kind of intimacy with anyone and I was going to crack..I couldn't take it, I couldn't handle it. Not with Him, not with my kids, my husband or my friends. There was just too much I was trying to assimilate. First my mom, then my best friend loses her baby, then I find out I am pregnant, then I have to deal with being pregant and have two kids, then I have the baby, then I have my surgery...just too much. Well this summer I realized one day...where is the smile that would come so easily? Where is the joy in my heart? And who is my two year old daughter and who let her get away with murder? :)
So what did I decide? I need to get back to the basics...with Jesus. I need to know Him inimately, I need to know WHO He is and how do I that..by diving into the Word like never before. So I prayed, God lead me down a way that is going to force me to have a daily quiet time, that is going to allow me to know you and a friend that I can lean on...and God gave me all that. He gave me all that through Bible Study Fellowship. I went to the orientation in May and have waited all summer to go and dive into God's Word. When I heard one lecture I KNEW this is where I was to be. I walk in the walls and can feel the Holy Spirit and not only that my precious children get to hear and learn God's Word! Here's the thing, we are studing Isaiah and although I was excited, I am not an "Old Testament Gal" In fact I thought the OT showed God as a mean God and the first page of my notes I am to read says "we hope that you can see God as a loving compassionate God through this study"...wow! And we have only studied two chapters, but already I have learned so much about Our God. My eyes have been opened up, we need to know this to understand why Christ came. He loved His people so much and worked with them so much, and instead of giving up on Him, He sent His SON! We didn't deserve it, but He still sent Him...God did so love the World and I am beginning to understand that so much more now...and I am excited to see just how much God is going to open my eyes! I already feel like I have a new Spirit that God has given me...I love you Lord!!!
Oh, I have to show you pics of us cheering on the Sooners this year!
