Happy New Year

Well, we are almost there..almost in 2009. What a difference a year makes...

...i am entering a year the mother of two for the first time
...i am entering a year the owner of a mini van for the first time
...i am entering a year after having my tenth college reunion
...i am entering a year where my husband and I will celebrating 10 years of marriage
...i am entering a year a daughter with no mother

BUT, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING THAT NEVER CHANGES....

....i am entering a year the daughter of a king, a child of the most high, and I know that no matter what happens this year, God will be next to me, holding my hand and watching me every step of the way.

I moved my dad out and he will be staying with us for a while until he gets into his new place. Never again will I call their number, a number I called every day (3-4 times) for four years. Never again will I go to their place where Andrew danced with her and painted rocks, ate cookies and watched TV. I miss her so much, and leaving the place with all those memories is almost like mourning all over again. So today, I visited the pit a little. My best friend asked me last night if I was surviving and if I was okay. Yes and yes/no. I get up, I feed and take care of my kids, I laugh at something at TV, I kiss my husband, I pray to my God, and am thankful for ALL my blessings, but inside I am sad b/c my best friend is gone. But just like scripture says, joy does come in the morning and right now, I am going to cling to God and trust like no other time, and will wait expectantly to see the glorious plan He has for my life, my dad's, my husband's, my son's and my daughter's.

Happy New Year loved ones, can't wait for new year of memories and love!

Merry Christmas to one and to all....

...an a blessing to each and every one of you! I love you all and hope and pray that this season reminds us that a little baby was born over 2000 years ago for us. He was God's Son, His precious Son and He sent Him to earth.

Our Lord and Savior had been there from the beginning, but chose to leave and humble Himself to human form to save us:

John 1: 1-3:

1In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2He was with God in the beginning.
3Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.

Yet, He came down from Heaven so that we could be saved and become children of God.

John 1:12

12Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—

His ENTIRE purpose of being born, of living and especially of dying is because God loved us so much that He did not want us to be seperated from Him any more, He wanted a relationship with us, He wanted us to live knowing that we were never alone, that He is always with us, looking down on us and guiding us in His perfect will. This was His plan 2000 years ago and this is His plan 2000 years later. Remember friends, this was an event that happened a long time ago in a far away place, but it is something that can be remembered and held close to our heart every single day.

I write all of this to encourage you, to live 2009 for Him. I have been running from Him for the past 2 years because I was afraid of what would happen, and the worst happened, and guess what..HE WAS THERE FOR ME. I even told Him at one point I will not serve you anymore if you take my mom, but when it came down to it, that thought TERRIFIED me. Living my life without my God? Not possible. So if you are down, scared and alone this Christmas, He is there. He is there to hold your hand, to cry with you and to love you no matter what, I am living testimony to that.

Deuteronomy 31:8

8 "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

I hope that I am not coming off preachy, that is not my intention at all, it is to be encouraging, to point you to the Savior, our only source of love, hope and future.

Merry Christmas loved ones, I truly love you all and am so blessed to have you in my life. Thank you for your love and encouragement this past month. I know that when I am down again I will need it, and I know that you will be there. I pray blessings upon you and your families this wonderful holiday season! I am ending with some pictures of my kids we took for our Christmas card...guess who didn't smile, and she ALWAYS smiles. Oh well, Murphy's Law..right!!!

Over here kids! :)

One smiling..one ready to stop



Really ready to stop!



Merry Christmas from the Stephens!

Andrew is the big FOUR-0

What, did I say four-o I meant to say he acts like the big 4-0, but only is four. We had a wonderful time at Chuck E Cheese (pics later). We also spent the day at our friend Grant's house, the day of his actual birthday.

I cannot believe that four years ago, Dec. 17, my first child came into our lives. He is the light of our lives. He is "our full of life, the minute his feet hit the floor I am going until I go reluntly go to bed at night little angel from God". We tried for nine months to get pregnant, and while EVERYONE around me was getting pregnant, I was shouting out to God, where is my baby. I have wanted to be a mom since I could breathe, where is my baby. Well I realize now that if God had given us our son any time sooner, we wouldn't have Andrew. And where we would we be then? Not laughing at his knock-knock jokes, playing toss, basketball, soccer, baseball or any other sport, we wouldn't be constantly amused at all he has to say and amazed that he is so insightful at such a young age. He loves Jesus and reading His Bible, and loves asking questions about God....or asking questions about ANYTHING! He is into his letters right now and writing his name. How I love my little boy, my gift from God. For those who didn't know, I couldn't hold him for the first six hours, he didn't cry when he was born. They ran tests and tests, but couldn't figure it out. Finally he did, and I got to hold him and love on him for the first time. I remember unswaddling him and looking at all his fingers and toes and watch him move all around, what an angel!

This year I am focusing on being the mommy God wants me to be, not what I think I should be or what I think others want me to be, but what God wants me to be. I want to discipline my children like he disciplines me, out of love. I am praying that I am a productive mommy and spend as much time with them as possible, for next year Andrew will go off to K4 and I will lose our lazy mornings, and lives will never be the same again!

So, Happy Birthday angel, mommy and daddy love you and couldn't be more proud to call you our son!!

Coincidence?? I don't think so?

This is a neat story, something I really needed right now. :)

Yesterday we were out and I looked down at my key chain and wanted to take the plastic key chain we got from Joe Marino off, but for some "reason" took off my clicker that unlock and locks the door. Well I couldn't get it back on, so I had it separate from my other keys and put it in a pocket in my purse. Well tonight I went to Walmart to finish Andrew's Christmas and got to my car in the FREEZING cold and couldn't find my keys. But....I had my clicker so I could get everything in our car (including Andrew's new bike ) and sit in the car and look for my keys in the warmth of the car. I couldn't find them (David came and gave the other set--what a guy!) but I did go to Customer Service and they were there. But thanks to the "coincidence" I was able to sit inside my car and not have to push my cart back, sit in Walmart, be cold, be out in the dark with my hands freezing, or anything else.

God is good and meets our every need.

He knew that I was going to have to have the clicker separate, He knew it was going to be cold and dark, so he separated the keys to meet my needs days ahead. Just like with everything with my mom.

If you had told me I would have to live without my mom, I would have FREAKED, but God prepared me. Two weeks before she passed all I said was, "God don't make me bitter" and I knew that this was God's will and I was going to have to trust Him. He gave me a peace, and the Holy Spirit gave me the ability not to be angry with God. There is a lot more to this story, and I am trying to sort it all out and someday soon I am going to share it with everyone. I want people to learn from my story that we can trust God, b/c for the past two years I fought it harder than anyone else in the world. I hope you are all enjoying this Christmas season, it is a special time of year, I want to soak it all up!

Prayer needs:
1. Tomorrow (the 15th) marks a month that my mom passed. Pray for peace, and pray that the sadness that is to come, comes and goes quickly. I sometimes want to call her and hear her voice more than anything.
2. The weather cooperates and does not mess with Andrew's birthday!
3. Peace for David and I this week, we have a lot facing us as a couple...some I cannot talk about right now.

Thanks for the prayers, I love you all so much and pray blessings upon you and your family!

Out of the mouths of babes

I went to pick up Andrew yesterday and his teacher, who happens to be a really good friend of mine, says I have to tell you what Andrew said. As a mother of a four year old, this can be a good statement, or a bad statement. This was a good one. She said that at lunch time it was Andrew's turn to pray and instead of doing the usual prayer of "Thank you God for good food, thank you God", Andrew says this:

Dear God, I hope that when you fall down you don't get hurt.

Thank you for Jesus, Amen

Boy, what a way to make this momma proud! I love Andrew's sensitive heart, when Kaitlyn is sad or crying, he comes over and says, it's okay brother is here. What a guy!

On another note, I am doing okay. I have my bad days, my good days...my bad hours, my good hours. At church the other day we sang a song we had played at mom's service and I just broke down. It had really caught up with me that day that she wasn't coming back, that this is my new reality, that she is in heaven and I am here on Earth. The next day I was feeling sad and vulnerable and she was the one I could call with advice and she would tell me exactly what I needed to hear, but she wasn't there that day. So I cried, and one of my friends called and I talked with her and cried to her, and was better. I know that each one of you are praying for me, and please know if I haven't called yet, I will be calling just to chat, tell a funny story about my mom, or just to cry. It's like someone said at MOPS (hi Scarlett!), my faith is founded on God and I have peace with His will, and I am greatful that He is meeting me at my every need, but I still miss her. My relationship with God is better than it has been in ages, because I am trusting Him and leaning on Him when I am down, and I know that He loves me at all times and is holding my hand all of the way. I love you all, and hopefully will have Thanksgiving pics up before the New Year!

Dena Marie Bonner, my best friend

This is the hardest post I have written our will write in my entire life. On Oct. 1 my mom was admitted in the hospital with what we thought was just a flare up with her ulcer. But after blood was taken we found out that there was cancer in her lymph node and was diagnosed with adenercarsonoma with breast primary. We thought that it could be contained, but it spread with a vengance. By the time we saw it, it had spread to her bones and she was in agonizing pain. So they put her on high doses of medicine which made her really out of it, but if they tried to lower it, she would be in pain again. We brought hospice in, but after 5 weeks of being up with my mom every night, making sure she got the right medicine, and watching her fade away, we admitted her into a place called Clarehouse. It is an organization that gives terminally ill patients a place to pass on in an uplifting envirnoment, but have 24 hour care with hospice nurses working with them. She was admitted last Wednesday, but on Saturday morning was at peace and went home with her Lord.

In the 60 short years she was here on this Earth she impacted hundreds of children's lives in the classroom, was married to the same man for 35 years, and was my best friend. When I was growing up I talked with her about everything, and that never changed. We talked everyday, sometimes several times a day, she advised me, encouraged me, loved me, and was my everything. In the past four years, she has also been the world's best Nan. I was her pride and joy...until my children came around, they were her life. The thing that hurt her the most leading up to her death was not being able to see them and love on them, but she is with them now, and forever. She was here when I got married, and when I had both of my children, two things that I wanted more than anything. And even though I will be alive longer without her than with her, I am at peace that this is the Lord's will and I trust Him that He knows best.

She LOVED life, loved everything and never let anything get her down, so b/c of that and b/c of the stregth that the Lord has given me, I will go on. I still cannot believe I won't get to talk with her on the phone, or she won't get to see Kaitlyn take her first steps or see Andrew go to K-4 in person and I am very sad. So ask for your prayers that when I get in the pit, I don't live in the pit, but just make a short trip. I ask for prayer for my dad as he goes on and begins to live life alone, and all that entails. I ask for prayer for Andrew who now knows that his Nan won't be here anymore, but that she is "playing with God in Heaven". Which when we talked to him about it, he goes momma I bet God is holding Nan's hand and making her feel better. I love you all so much and thank you for your friendship, for your love and for your prayers. I ask that you keep that up as I begin to adjust my life without the best mother and friend a girl could ever ask for.

Birthdays and Trick or Treating

Hello all! Well as you can tell we had tons of fun at the Pumpkin patch, but we also had three birthday's in one weekend!! We were only able to go to two, one on Saturday and one on Sunday. The one on Saturday was Natalie's and then on Sunday was one of Andrew's best buds, Hayden. Then the following Friday was Halloween. Andrew was Spiderman and Kaitlyn was a ladybug. Andrew loved his costume and wore it weeks before Halloween even happend. He did great trick or treating, and would have gone all night if we let him! He is getting so big! It was a perfect night, not to cold, but not hot either.
Hope all is going well for you all! When you think of it, please pray for my mom, she is having some serious health problems again. We are all trusting God right now and know that He is soverign and in control. I am doing amazingly well, but all because of the peace of God that does truly trancend all understanding. But, otherwise enjoy our pics of our family and I will keep you updated.

Andrew playing in Natalie's sandbox

TOOT!! Andrew plays his horn!

Party girl!

Batman and Spiderman, otherwise known as

Hayden and Andrew

Pinata time!

They had a costume parade at school and this is what Andrew did

when Miss Molly introduced him, he then proceeded to do a little dance!

Where oh where does he get it!?

My little lady bug! She has been doing this with her lip lately!

Pumpkin patches!

Our fun trip!

David's cousin Verlinda and her daughter Natalie invited us to a new musuem in Tulsa. It is on 61st and Sheridan at the top of the hill across from In the Raw. You start out in a black room with the light that makes all of the whites you wear weird color, and fun hands-on things. Then there is a big climbing toy and a climbing wall. There is an arts n crafts room where you can color and paint. Then you move on to a "little town" full of a grocery store, cafe, post office, hospital, and barber shop. Each place had kids size carts, food and tables where they could sit and check out items and put things in a kid size grocery cart. We loved it! It was so cool and the kids had a blast!!! I really want you to visit it and support this so it stays in Tulsa for a long time. For Andrew and I it cost 14.95. There is a website, http://www.kaleidoscopecm.com/! Take your kids, Andrew and Natalie loved it as you can see, we spent 2 hours there and could have spent more. View the next post for pics, for some reason I couldn't put the slide show and words on the same post.

Our Trip to the muesum

Misc. stuff!

Andrew is really into "copying" Daddy! Last night David was hanging something up on the porch and of course had to go and get his tools "just like dad!".

Last Friday we were blessed to have a lot of friends stop by! First Michelle, Zach, Laney, Leanne, Zach and Noelle came by for a visit! We love our friends and love having them over to our house!

Then our friends Carri, Brecken, Sawyer and Harper came over. We love to see them anytime we get since they live in Edmond. The boys and younger girls are only months apart, so it makes for a fun, fun, fun time!

The girls: Harper 6 months Kaitlyn 4 months

Here are the brother's and sister's. My little one was not very happy at this point! :)

My Girl!

Well we have a roller on our hands! She is really good at, but she gets her arm caught and can't roll over it! She is smiling ALL of the time and laughing now too! She really loves her brother and can't wait to see him every day. She is on a great schedule and even though she is having some "tummy" issues, she has a very sweet dispostion! She is reaching for toys and putting them in her mouth and she is always moving! I can't believe she is getting so big and can do so much, it truly goes by so fast! She really is a blessing and we can't imagine what our lives where like without her! Here are some pics of our angel! See you next month!

Be sure to check out my next blog, all about my guy!!!

My guy!

Andrew is my three and half year old going on 30! He is such a funny little guy and I am so proud of him! I have spent a lot of time talking about Kaitlyn that I wanted to spend time talking about my little man!

He LOVES sports! I joke that David and I wanted our son to have athletic ability (since neither of us do :) ), but we prayed a little too hard b/c if it can be hit, thrown, kicked or rolled he is into it! I really don't know what sport he is going to go into, but it is going to be something b/c he has natural ability that we have not taught him! Here is playing ball

Andrew also loves music! He loves to sing, play instruments--especially the guitar! His new favorite is Guitar Hero! He also will turn anything into a drum! Here are some pics of his musical abilities!

He has a Pull-Up on! Makes me think of Risky Business!

Andrew also loves to color and draw and paint! He does really well for his age and I love to see him color and draw!

Something to update everyone on, he is now going on the potty! I seriously thought I would send him to college in diapers, but he is doing so well and has been dry for a week now and got a special prize! YEAH!!! What a huge step! A really funny story happend the other day. It was during the DNC and my mom was over while David was gone, so Andrew wanted to lay down in my bed with Nan. The only thing on was the DNC when Hillary was talking, so she had it on not thinking he was watching it, but he was. She said, "...and I want your children to look up at you and you are able to tell them, you can be anything you want to be...", and all of a sudden my mom heard Andrew say, "I want to be a cowboy!" We laughed and laughed! This week though when he saw John McCain on TV, he turned to David and said, I like this guy, he is nice! See what I mean...he is going on 30!!

I also wanted to share with you some pics he took. I was sick in bed this week and these are some pics he took, so here is our life from his point of view! Hope you enjoyed my little guy, we sure do, we love him and think he is so special!