Something ends, something begins...

Well today was the last day for our school year at SHBC Weekday Preschool. We are going this summer, but it was the last school day of the regular year. Not only that, but it was our last day ever.

In August Andrew will start at Jenks West in the K4 program. He will only be going for 2 1/2 hours, but those hours are going to be without me, in surroundings that I have no control over, and people who will be part of his everyday life..and I have no idea who they are. He has been going to our church for his school, off and on his whole life. In fact, I was teaching there when I was pregnant with him. After he was born, I finished the year (2005), took some time off and then when he was one and a half I enrolled him again (2006). This time I was working at the Grand while he went there, but I knew everyone who worked at school. Then after a year of him going and me working somewhere else, I quit the Grand and started work there full time (2007). But little did I know, I became pregnant with Miss Kaitlyn. So in April (2008) stopped working and didn't go back to work until January (2009) to keep myself busy since mom passed. So he has been going full time for three years. Not only that but he spends the majority of the week with his friends at school, because they are with him on Wednesdays and Sundays as well. Now next year I am going to have to drop him off to a teacher I don't know, with kids I have never met, nor does he know them. I don't like that at all. Ke kept asking, so will Grant be at my new school...will Hayden....or are they changing churches too? (He is having a difficult time deferring between what is school and what is church. He thinks that b/c he is going to a new school, we are going to a new church as well :)). It breaks my heart that everything that he knows and is familiar with will be taken away from him. Although I know that it is for the absolute best and he is going to have the time of his life, I know that it is going to be scary for him, and that makes me so sad...the momma bear in me wants to keep him held up in the house and play forever with him. Ya know?

I wonder as I write this if this is what God feels for us. I mean God loves me 10,000,000,000,000 more times than I love Andrew. Andrew might be afraid and not like what is going on, but I know in the long run it will be good for him and he will be alright. Just like when we don't know what is going on, and don't like what we are experiencing, God does and He knows it is for His best. That is why He wants us to be patient, to trust Him, because He is never going to lead us astray, never going to take us down the wrong path, never do anything to hurt or harm us (Jer. 29:11). Just like I would never put Andrew in harms way, why in God's ultimate love for us would He put us in harms way. Which in turn I can say without doubt that He would never put Andrew in harms way or leave or dessert Him. So even though I am not there, God is. I am so glad that God is in charge of me and my life, I would be lost without Him. You know, nothing has taught me more about my Father's love for me than becoming a parent myself. I know how we would do anything for our children, but look at what at all He does for us!

So as sad as I am about everything, I am covering Andrew with prayers, trusting my child with His heavenly Father, and looking forward to the future with a smile on my face...but I am sure with tears on my face as well!

Here are some pics of Andrew on the first days of school the past three years. Wow, doesn't time fly?

1 1/2 (Aug. 2006)

2 1/2 (Aug. 2007)

3 1/2 (Aug. 2008)

On another note, thank you for your thoughts and prayers on Mother's Day, the actual day wasn't hard because I made it about me being a mom, but the week leading up to it was hard. I missed celebrating my mom on Earth, I missed buying her a card, I missed having a mom to celebrate Mother's Day for...but through the hurt and the sadness I still stand in God's love, His grace and His blessings for my life! Last Friday was six months and I want to thank you all for everything, for reading, for commenting, for being there for me before she passed, when she passed and after she went home. I couldn't have made it through these six months without your friendship, understanding and prayers. You are truly a blessing from our Father! Love to you all!

Kaitlyn Michelle turns one!

Is it is possible that a year as passed before I welcomed my daughter into this world?! I cannot believe it! I know that a lot has happened, but it still seems impossible that she is already a year old. Amazing!

Her birthday was Friday, April 24th...what a fun day! We went out with Molly and Grant to buy some things for school. We ate in the food court and all had ice cream and sang Happy Birthday to Kaitlyn. We then met Daddy at Zio's and ate a fun birthday dinner. By the time we got home, both kids were asleep. When Kaitlyn finally woke up, she was hot and tired and these were the only half way decent pic I got of her that day!

Her little bloomers were so cute, so had to get a pic of those!

Sunday then was the big day! It started out with her dedication at church! She was the belle of the ball! She was held and carried around by Pastor Hess as he explained the meaning of her name. I will post pics and details in a later post (thank you Sarah for taking those pics!). Here is a glimpse of her in her dress!

We then ate at Red Lobster with Grammy, Ponca, Papa, Allison, Daddy, Mommy and brother . Then we headed home for cake and presents. Words cannot describe how she attacked her cake! She got a Fisher Price doll house, a Dora ride on, some puzzles, clothes, a Fisher Price mailbox, and many more gifts..pink seriously exploded in our house! It was a precious day that I know that mom was smiling down on! We loved spending time with family and friends in honor of our precious angel!

Kaitlyn, you smile at everyone, laugh at some, especially your brother, you love dolls, and your sleep (better not interupt it). You favorite thing to do is open and shut things, you squeal with delight when the cat comes in the room, you LOVE to eat you have refused no food, you love your baths. There isn't much you don't like, but you don't like someone telling you no..in fact you act very indignant that someone would have the nerve to tell you that! You are a joy and a blessing, and I love waking up to your smile every morning and cannot wait to see what God has planned for your life!

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