My heart is a little heavy tonight. Since everything with my mom, I have become a "blog stalker". Here are people that I have never met and now some of them are my friends on Facebook, and I talk about them like I know them! They have become a part of my life, but through all of these blogs I have been encouraged in my grief, inspired by their dedication and love to God, and uplifted by their stories. There are several links to those blogs in my sidebar, please check some of them when you have a chance. Kelly's story has a FANTASTIC ending, and Jenna's baby is doing so well. And then of course, Angie whose story has touched lives all over theh world!
Some not so well, there was a little girl Cora who three weeks ago was diagnosed with cancer, and is now with the Lord. She was only 10 months old. I was devastated. Just the day before she survived a surgery, and now she is dancing with Jesus. It doesn't seem fair, nor right. Of course, way too young. She and Kaitlyn were only weeks apart. I guess that is why it has really hit close to home. I KNOW, KNOW, KNOW that God is going to do something good from this, I KNOW He is. Her parents love Him and He promises to work all things good for those who love the Lord. This situation is the absolute farthest from good, but God will create something good and will meet their needs, for their lives will never be the same.
I guess this death brings fear out of me again. I am thinking, okay God I have conquered the fear about my mom, but please don't take my little girl, so then I am fearful all over again! It has made me hug my sweet precious one a little closer. I look back too and think, oh my goodness, she is already this old, have I taken enough pics, written enough down, and her baby book, it has even begun!
So all of this to say, refer to last post! I was rereading it and I have to remember, don't have peace in abstract things, but in the fact that the will of God (even though we don't even come close to understanding it) knows better than we. And when all of the whys come up, we stand on what we KNOW, not on what we FEEL.
Another reason for my sadness is that this Wednesday marks one year since Lauren's death. Lauren was a magnificent youth in our church who would babysit Andrew. She was on her way home after picking something up from her dad's office with her brother and lost control of her car. It was devestating and our youth are still realing from it. Please be in prayer for them, for her parents and her brothers. The family is all so completely dear, and very close to us. In fact, Kaitlyn's middle name Michelle is after Lauren. The boy Colton I have asked prayer for is in the same class that Lauren was, so please pray for the class as they are dealing with everything. (BTW, Colton is doing very well).
Sorry for the long, sad post, but it feels so good to share this with others. Please know that through this fear (which I know is from Satan), this saddness I still see God's magnificent glory, His unending love and His hand upon all of us. Tomorrow will be a new day and new time to see his Glory shine in new and amazing ways!
I love you all and thank you for walking this journey together!
4 comments:
Oh, sweet Allison! I know, I have been thinking nonstop about The Crawleys this week. It's amazing how we so can get focused on the things of this world and not on our Father. It's such a tough line to walk to be committed to taking care of your family and not putting them above our love for the Lord or our trust in Him.
I love you. Thank you for sharing and reminding us all to savor each and every moment with our families but more than that to focus our eyes on Christ!
I can't believe it's been a year. What a year they've had.
I'm like you...I read blogs of a few people I don't know and feel myself getting interested in their lives. There DOES seem to be alot of stuff going on right now out there. Maybe we're just more sensitive to it.
Have you been following Beth's blog? Her daughter had her baby last week. Oh the stories she has. She always makes me smile...just like you do.
~hugs always
Laura
(thanks for praying for DAA)
I know what you mean about how sad it is to read about families who have lost their children. I think of them as well, it makes you realise that the people behind the blogs really are people, and not just words on the screen.
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